This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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