There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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