super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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