The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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