I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
