the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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