got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you never un-have a 4some
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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