I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
