do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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