And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
