We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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