I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You may now shotgun with the bride
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
