I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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