I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
