i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
