smell my finger.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
