Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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