That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
