you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
