I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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