She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
