Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
