I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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