I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
too bad you live with your parents still
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
