So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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