Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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