Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need to sanitize my soul.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
