idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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