I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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