before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
