If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
