the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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