no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize