Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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