And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
