I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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