McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
