While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
