Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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