Bisexual people are plain selfish.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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