We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
