i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
