nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
