soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
