was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize