Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
