I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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