so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
