That's when you crack a 10am beer
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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