Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
