sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize