what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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