Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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