I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Randomize
