And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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