Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
