She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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