Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize