Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize