Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
