hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
