Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
