i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
